Can I use AI instead of therapy?
I am often asked “Are you worried that AI is going to take over therapy?” and here is my response: I am not worried at all, and it boils down to one key factor—connection.
Don’t get me wrong, I am among the many who keep getting excited when I figure out a new way to use ChatGPT. It seems like on a daily basis, I am hearing how others are using it in a wild new way, and I can’t help but feel a combination of mind-blown (“I never would have thought to ask it to do THAT!”) and curious/excited (“I can’t wait to see what it tells me about my question!”).
In case you haven’t tried it out for yourself yet, here is what I love about my ChatGPT “friend”:
It remembers everything I say. (Can I get that download for my husband please?)
It provides great summaries.
I can tell it exactly what I am looking for and how I want the information given to me, and it presents so many options—and I don’t have to feel guilt about asking! (If I am being honest here, I did notice an old pattern of belief that wondered if I was being too demanding, or if it was going to get annoyed with me! So just in case, I also try to use my manners…you know, so it doesn’t get mad at me, lol!)
It can easily see things from multiple points of view.
Because it is grabbing information from so many places, it can provide both useful information and can even link things together with seemingly insightful conclusions.
After telling it enough information about who I am and what I am doing, it seems to “get me”, and can offer words of support and guidance.
So with all of these awesome possibilities, why do I not feel worried about it taking over my job as a therapist?
Because here’s the great news: it doesn’t have to be one or the other.
It doesn’t have to be “ChatGPT” or therapy; that is the black-and-white thinking many of us were programmed to believing about so many things. It doesn’t have to be “either/or”. Instead, what if we used ChatGPT AND therapy?
ChatGPT and other AI services are great at providing feedback, corrections, ideas and even guidance and support. But what it cannot offer is that magical thing that happens when another human being looks right into your eyes and says the words that your heart needs to hear.
Let me share an example with you: I have a client who recently was struggling with a relationship in her life. She told ChatGPT all about the issue and even mentioned that she is a Christian who is in therapy…so ChatGPT incorporated information from both the Bible and therapeutic modalities in its response to her questions. And she asked it a lot of questions! It provided her perspectives, support, and guidance of how she could view the situation and things she could say/do in this relationship conflict.
I celebrated all of that info with her, and added in a few pieces of clarification. She felt validated by ChatGPT and appreciated the insights it provided her. It brought her some relief to have some answers.
Then I asked her to look me in the eyes as I said to her: “I see how much this is hurting you. You are allowed to feel this sadness. I welcome it here with us. Your sadness is not too much for me. I see you, and I am right here with you. I got you.”
And then she started bawling.
Because these are the things she needed to hear while she was growing up, but didn’t. These are the things that she still yearns to hear from the people in her life, but doesn’t.
You see, it is not in the data and information that great change happens. It is in the EXPERIENCES. When we have corrective experiences with other human beings, it starts to rewrite the beliefs we have about ourselves.
Data appeals to our logical side and can help in many ways. But we are not operating from logic when we are experiencing anxiety, grief, or depression: we are operating from old belief patterns that we picked up based on experiences. Whether they are recent experiences or even as far back as infancy, our brain and our body store these experiences as beliefs as a way to try to help us prepare a plan to keep surviving.
These beliefs dictate if we feel safe, loveable, and have value in the world. And all of the data in the world can’t rewrite these beliefs for us. If negative experiences caused us to feel unsafe, unloveable, not-good-enough, then our brains need positive experiences to correct these beliefs.
This is the stuff that can’t be taken over by ChatGPT. There is a magic that happens in connection with a compassionate, sturdy human being and it can’t be replicated. The magic that makes us literally alive (and not a really good program) is the magic we share with each other.
So feel free to enjoy the many benefits of AI and marvel at how it can make many aspects of our lives easier. Use it as a supplement/compliment to therapy. But when you are really ready to heal that anxiety or self-doubt that is keeping you stuck in life, bring your messy, impefect, vulnerable self to an anxiety therapist who is ready to show up for you with their own humanness…and let the magic happen.
